Can I have a Do-Over?

When I was younger, I thought grey hair was beautiful.
When I was younger, I swore I'd never drive a minivan.
When I was younger, I couldn't understand why women freaked out over turning 35 or 40.
When I was younger, I told myself I'd never yell at my kids.
When I was younger, 50 was old.

Something happened between the 31st of December, 2010 and the 1st of January 2011. A cosmic shift developed in my whole being. I experienced a change in my perspective from that of a not-so-old 34yr old to a woman swiftly approaching her 35th birthday. In short, I became old.

Wow.

I find myself looking at my hands, wondering if they show my age. I spend more time peering into the mirror at my hairline, wondering when the 1st grey hair will appear (since I can't see the back of head, maybe that's where they're hiding). I've started exercising, all the while thinking to myself that it's waaaay harder to lose weight after you turn 35, so maybe I should've started earlier.

Maybe it wasn't entirely an overnight shift, but a gradual morphing of my middle-adult perspective. I've noticed that when I was younger (there's that phrase again), I made sweeping declarations with respect to never doing this or that. I can't really recall why, but at the time, it seemed to me that I would not ever, even remotely consider the alternative. I find myself watching the news, reading different newspapers, participating on varoius committees, all the while coming to the shocking realization that for the next 25 years or so, I will ALWAYS be old to my children. My mom appreciates the fact that I no longer consider her old.

I wonder what the next 35 years will bring?